Check out Debra Owens Ph.D. online!

• LinkedIn -  Dr. Debra Wright Owens

• Website - www.encoreempowermentintl.com

• Instagram - @drdebrawrightowens

Note: This is an original transcript–edited for sense, length, and clarity.  If you have any questions or concerns, please email our host, Doria Lavagnino, at doria@sheventurespodcast.com.

Intro:

Doria Lavagnino: At first glance, today’s guest epitomizes career stability. After all, she worked as a federal employee for more than 30 years. Yet, as with every woman on SheVentures, her ordinary is extraordinary. She’s an Army veteran who later worked at the United States Post Office and the Internal Revenue Service. 

Before we had a thing called “side hustles,” she was doing her own. She was building a business — a development consulting firm called Encore Empowerment International. She is a CEO and executive coach. She’s also skilled at leadership management, motivational speaking, and conflict resolution — all things that she learned in her federal jobs, as well.

Additional accomplishments and pivots? She does have a few. Raising two children, now adults, two marriages and divorces, authored or co-authored four books, and earned several degrees, including a Ph.D. in business administration and management. She, also, became an ordained minister. She survived a heart attack in 2021, another pivotal moment that was guided by her deep faith. She decided it was time to shift gears to full-time entrepreneurship. Here to tell us her story is Dr. Debra Owens. Debra, welcome to SheVentures!

Dr. Debra Owens: Thank you so much, Doria, for having me. I’m grateful for this opportunity to share my story on this platform. We all have a story and I haven’t told my story to the extent that I am about to. I’m just grateful for the opportunity to do that because I believe that when we share our stories, we inspire each other. Thanks so much for having me.

Doria: Absolutely, that’s so true and that’s the reason why SheVentures exists. I feel like women have had their stories told for them for so long by others. I love that we’re telling our own stories.

Growing Up with Grandpa

Doria: I wondered if you could start by telling listeners a little bit about your childhood, where you grew up, and if it comes to you, one event or person that immediately comes to mind when you think about your childhood.

Debra: I grew up in rural Mississippi — the Delta, they call it. As far as I can remember back being a child, I remember happy times. Now that I’m older, of course, I look back. I realized that going up there were hard times. I didn’t realize that as a child because it was all I knew. 

In response to your question, about who comes to mind first, we generally say our mom or father, but my grandfather comes to mind. He was a great man. He was a disciplinarian first and foremost, I remember that. Outside of being a disciplinarian, he was this individual who I looked at as one that could do anything. He didn’t have an education, couldn’t write and read, but he could build anything. 

I remember spending a lot of time with my grandfather from the time of infancy to about 4 or 5 years old. I actually lived with my grandfather. When I started to live with my mom, I would spend every weekend at my grandfather’s until I graduated from high school. I remember fun times being at my grandfather’s home. I was the first grandchild. I have six aunts and four uncles. It’s a big family.

I remember going fishing with my grandfather. I remember he would till the garden, crops, and stuff like that. I remember planting seeds and things of that nature. I remember he used to go hunting and kill deer. He would come back with deer, process, and grind up the deer sausage. Truthfully, he taught me survival skills. You see the reality shows on TV [of] people on these journeys out in the wilderness. My grandfather lived that in a sense — more structured, of course. That’s what I remember about him. That’s why he stands out to me so much. 

Let me tell you something profound about my grandfather. My biological grandmother passed away two weeks after my youngest aunt was born. I never got to meet my biological grandma. My grandfather was left with six girls and four boys.

Doria: Wow!

Debra: My grandmother’s biological brothers and sisters all wanted to chip in and help my grandfather. They wanted him to allow them to raise some of the siblings. My grandfather refused to split his children up. At the request of my grandmother who had passed away, they said of course. I was told that on her dying bed, she asked my grandfather to not split her children up. My grandfather basically single-handedly raised six girls and four boys.

Doria: Ten children?

Debra: Yes! They all turned out to be productive citizens with morals and values — not perfect but good people.

Doria: That’s wonderful.

Debra: I’m proud of my grandfather for that. I really am.

Doria: That’s an incredible story. What resonates with me is, you spoke about how he didn’t have what we consider an education today in terms of reading and writing. He knew how to survive with farming, hunting, and all those skills. If you took someone like me, a New Yorker, and put me in the wilderness, I hope I would find a way to survive, but honestly, I don’t know if I would. There is so much to be said for that.

Debra: Yeah, there really is. He had a good reputation. His reputation preceded him. I remember going to the bank in our little town with my grandfather. He couldn’t write, as I said. He signed his name with an X. He had such a great reputation that the people in the bank knew him and they would extend credit to him for this or that. He was a good person.

Doria: I’m thinking back to your grandfather’s time. I’m sure that he didn’t have a chance to be exposed to traditional education. He was likely surviving.

Debra: Right, he didn’t have that opportunity. I don’t know much about his childhood but I do know that when he and my biological grandmother were married, they started to have children. Then, when she passed away, he was in survival mode of raising all of those children and making sure that they have what they needed.

Doria: That’s incredible.

Debra: Yeah, it is.

Doria: We always think about that in terms of women. It’s refreshing to hear about a man who did that and did it obviously so well.

Enlisting in the Army

Doria: I always appreciate anyone who served our country. I want to thank you for your service. I know that you were in the Army [and] actively enlisted for five years and then in the Reserves for three. I assume that after you graduated from high school, that was when you chose to enlist, is that right?

Debra: Well, actually, I enlisted under what they call the Delayed Entry Program. The military has this thing where they send the recruiters to schools to recruit soldiers. They came to our school and they were doing the recruiting thing. I thought it was a good idea. I signed up under the Delayed Entry Program. Along with one of my classmates, we joined under what they called the buddy system. That means that you would remain buddies and you would go together wherever you were stationed. 

I was underage. My mother had to sign for me to join. I was around 16 when I signed up. 

Doria: Wow!

Debra: I thought it was a good thing to do because I’m from a small rural place. I heard all of these stories about life outside of where I was from. I wanted to have that opportunity to be exposed to a different life. I hadn’t prepared for college even though I was an honors student. I hadn’t submitted any applications or anything like that. I just wanted to go in a different direction at that time. That’s how I signed up under the Delayed Entry Program. 

I graduated from high school on May 30, 1986. On the Fourth [of July], I was at Fort Jackson, South Carolina, as a new recruit in the Army. The initial experience was exciting but then it set in that I couldn’t go home. I went through this phase of being homesick and regretting that I had signed up. I didn’t think about that before I signed up. That, “Okay, you’re not going to be able to leave when you want to.” That was my first time away from home [and] my mom.

My mom passed away in 2011. We had a close relationship. I grew up in a sheltered life. When I was there at Fort Jackson, South Carolina, they have what you call guard duty or something to that effect. It’s been a while, so I can’t remember what they call it. You have to stand guard at the door, make sure the doors are locked, nobody comes in, and things of that nature. I would see this bus bring in new recruits and other buses coming in and out. It dawned on me that I couldn’t leave. I started to get really homesick and sad. 

I remember calling my mom when we would have the opportunity to use the telephone. [I was] crying to my mom and telling her I didn’t want to be there anymore. I asked her if she could come to pick me up. She was actually preparing to come to Fort Jackson, South Carolina, to pick me up. She called the recruiter who had signed me up and was asking him questions. He explained to her that she couldn’t go and pick me up, that I belong to Uncle Sam now. I could not leave. I had to stay there at the MEPS station (Military Entrance Processing Station) for probably three weeks because I didn’t know how to do a push-up. 

Doria: That’s hard!

Debra: I knew how to get down, but had no idea how to get back up. I was there for three weeks. For those weeks, all we did was drills, PT, and things of that nature — learning the basics of being a soldier.

Doria: Oh, must’ve been a culture shock.

Debra: Right, it really was. I had grown up being sheltered, so I needed that. After I finally passed that initial PT test and went on to basic training, the training was so intense that I was too tired to even be homesick. 

There used to be a commercial that said, “We do more before 5 a.m. than most people do all day.” That was so true. I realized that it was actually true. I remember being up at like four o’clock in the morning. 

I was assigned to this area of Fort Jackson they call Tank Hill. I don’t know if it still exists, but I remember the drill sergeants coming in and waking us up. We’d get up and be running PT at like 4:30 or 5 o’clock in the morning through the woods in the dark with a flashlight.

Doria: Oh my goodness.

Debra: Yeah, it was intense. I’m so grateful for my time in the military. I needed that to become independent and develop my mindset to independence and responsibility. I needed that to interact with the world [and] other people besides those who I had grown up around and with. 

I spent five years in the military. I was progressing quickly. I remember being a soldier of the court on the post in training and things of that nature. My first duty assignment was in Germany, Stuttgart. I [was] 18 years old and they shipped me off to Germany right out of training. Of course, that was a culture shock. I’d never been outside of the United States.

I found myself making this 10-hour flight across the ocean to Germany. I remember getting off the plane, seeing guards with rifles and all of this stuff was a shock to me. Again, I adapted because that was my new life. Of course, I missed home. My intent was to do two years at least and to retire from the military. 

I think around 1990–1991 was when Desert Storm started. At that time, I was stationed at Fort Sam Houston in San Antonio, Texas. I was processed to go to the war zone. I was on call, on standby, took all the shots, had to do a will, power of attorney, and all of those things. Long story short, I didn’t have to go. During that time, what they call your expiration term of service (ETS), my ETS date came around. I did not have to re-enlist.

The First Marriage Story

Doria: What was it like to be a woman in the military at that time?

Debra: Well, Miss Doria, I’m gonna tell you! When I first arrived at the base in Germany — Nellingen Barracks, they called it — I would say I had a bit of a shock because the barracks were co-ed. Men and women in the same barracks. That was a first for me because, in training, that was not the case.

When I was there and settled into my room, I [went] to the restroom and [was] in the stall, I heard someone clear their throat. I [was] thinking in my mind, “That sounds like a guy.” That was a shock to me.

I never had any encounters that stood out to me that I would say women per se were treated differently in the military. My experience was just good overall. That was in the mid to late ’80s during my first tour of Germany.

Post-Military Life

Doria: Post-military, I guess, life decided for you or you decided to go to Germany, have a child, and start a family. How did you end up back in the U.S. and starting your federal career?

Debra: My first husband stayed in for several years. When he decided to get out, we came back to the base at Fort Benning in Columbus, Georgia. That’s where my ex-husband got out of the military. He’s from Georgia, born and raised, so we ended up here. 

One of the trending careers at the time was the Post Office. We both took the test at the same time and he got hired first. When they hired him, I saw that he was making pretty decent money at the Postal Service. At the time, I was doing different jobs through staffing agencies and things of that nature. When he was hired by the Postal Service, I was working for the State of Georgia Medical Board. [It’s] where doctors submit their paperwork to get their licenses.

Working for the Postal Service

Doria: You were always attracted to government jobs, right? What was it that interested you or attracted you to them?

Debra: I think it went along with the culture of being a veteran. You hear other veterans talk about federal jobs and that it’s the way to go. They are more secure, better benefits, and things of that nature. The wages and salaries are fairly decent. That’s how I ended up staying in that lane because of interacting with other veterans and hearing them talk about federal employment and careers. 

When my husband was hired by the Postal Service, I saw that he was doing good as far as pay. I said, “I’m going to see if I can get in too.” I reached out to the HR department and basically expressed my interest. It turned out that they were hiring at the time. A year later I was hired by the Postal Service. We both ended up working for the Postal Service. I worked for [them] for 11 years in total. 

I did four years as a bargaining unit employee. I was processing mail [and] I was a flat sorting machine operator. After four years, I went into management and served in a management capacity in different roles for the remainder of the seven years that I was with the Postal Service. 

At some point the shift work — because I worked different shifts over that 11-year period, the day shift, evening shift, and overnight shift — got the best of me.

Doria: I can imagine.

Debra: I wanted to go in a different direction. I wanted to have a job like normal people where I just work Monday through Friday with weekends and holidays off.

A New “Normal”

Debra: Over the course of those 11 years, I got divorced from my first husband. Then, I got married to my second husband who also works for the Postal Service.

Doria: Were you together working at the same place?

Debra: No, never. By the time of the second marriage, I had my son. I, then, had two children. The work [was] overbearing with two children.

Doria: Oh, that would be a lot.

Debra: It was a lot. Even though I’m grateful, there’s some regret because there are periods of time that I don’t remember. I was working so many hours away from my children and leaving them with babysitters when I was working overnight and things of that nature. I missed a lot of time of them growing up because I had to work. The hours were long. I was working six days a week, 10 and 12 hours a day.

Doria: Wow.

Debra: Yeah, it was a lot. It took a toll on me.

Doria: Of course it did.

Debra: I got to a point, maybe around the latter part of 2005, I said, “Okay, I can’t do this anymore. I’m gonna have to go in a different direction here.” I still wanted to stay in that federal employee capacity. I started to look for other jobs, a career change per se. That’s how I ended up working with the IRS.

I ended up getting a job in HR as a labor and employee relations specialist. It was a detailed assignment with the Postal Service that prepared me to even apply for the job that I ended up with the IRS. I worked maybe a year and a half or two on a temporary basis as an HR specialist for the Postal Service.

Pursuing an Education

Doria: During that time, you were pursuing your education in addition to working and raising children, right?

Debra: Yes, I’m so glad you brought that up. It seems I’ve always had a lot of irons in the fire at the same time. I was working for the Postal Service. I remember working for the Postal Service and going to school three days out of the week, sometimes four.

One of the reasons why I was so driven to do that is because I wanted to change for my children. I wanted a regular job. I wanted a Monday through Friday nine-to-five. I figured that in order for me to get that, I was going to have to get a couple of degrees under my belt, better position myself, and make myself more competitive. That’s why I did it. My mindset was, “Go ahead and get this pain over with. Just do it and get this under your belt. Then apply for a regular job.” That’s what I did.

Doria: For the 11 years that you were in the Postal Service, you got your bachelor’s degree. Did you also get your master’s degree or did that also happen during that time?

Debra: Yeah, during that 11-year period, I finished my bachelor’s and my master’s.

Doria: What made you say, “I’m gonna get a Ph.D.?”

Debra: Oh, you’re gonna laugh when you hear this! I came up with this grand idea that I wanted to get a Ph.D. I started a program and it had to have been in 2006–2007. By this time, I was working with the IRS.

I started the Ph.D. program. For the first assignment, we had to answer like four questions. They [told us] like 500 to 700 words or whatever it was at that time. I remember it so clearly — my response to these questions. I said, “You know what? I don’t feel like doing homework. I don’t want to do this right now.” I politely typed an email to my academic advisor and said, “I am withdrawing from the program effective immediately.” That was my first attempt at the Ph.D. It was not the right time at all.

Time passes. Fast forward to 2009, my girlfriend — the same girlfriend who I joined the military with, her name is Debra, also — contacted me one day. She said, “Well, Debra, let’s go back to school and get our Ph.D.s.” I was like, “I don’t know. I’ve tried that before and it wasn’t the right time. I wasn’t feeling it.” Long story short, she talked me into it. We started the program together because we figured we would keep each other encouraged, motivated and help each other out.

Doria: Did that work?

Debra: It did to a certain point. We started the program, and this time I wasn’t in a rush because I already had a job that I was happy with. The work-life balance was great when I worked for the IRS. I wasn’t managing people one-on-one anymore. I was basically managing the program that I was assigned and reporting to a manager who was in DC and I was in Atlanta. It was like the ideal position for me.

Doria: Definitely.

Debra: Right, so I wasn’t in a rush to finish the degree. I was only taking maybe one or two classes a semester. It took me seven years, but I got it done. 

Unfortunately, my girlfriend didn’t finish. She put a lot of time into it, but the Ph.D. program is a taxing program. Especially when you get to the actual research study itself, it weighs on your patience and a whole lot of other things. That’s what happened in her case. She did not finish.

Misconceptions About Working for the Federal Government

Doria: I wondered, as someone who hasn’t worked for the government, there are a lot of, I think, misconceptions. Is there one myth or misconception that you want to dispel about working for the federal government?

Debra: Yes, there is. I’m glad you asked that question because most people think that federal government employees don’t work. That is the farthest from the truth. The federal government is so organized. There are rules, regulations, policies, and procedures for everything in the federal government. There’s a checks and balances system for everything.

I may sound biased because all of my career up until 2021 was federal government — but hey, that’s what I know. I know from my firsthand experience that they are so organized. 

Doria: Oh, absolutely. I do know, though, that there is that perception. You’re right, that it’s like, “Oh, it’s like a slacker job.” I don’t understand that at all.

Debra: No, it’s really not a slacker job. I will say that maybe that label, misconception, or whatever comes from the fact that the federal government is mostly unionized. The union represents the bargaining unit employees. There’s a procedure or process to go through to actually fire a federal employee, but federal employees do get fired. 

I worked in HR. I know they get fired because I was a part of that process in advising management on how to fire employees. If we have documentation to support it, not that it’s a good thing, but there’s that process. Then we have a performance management system where every federal employee’s performance is managed, observed, and evaluated.

To me, that was one of the biggest myths that I’ve heard about federal government employees and employment — that they don’t work. That is not true. There’s a paper trail for everything.

Doria: Yeah, as some of our presidents have found out, there is a paper trail! No, I’m kidding.

Pivoting to Consultancy

Doria: You worked 30 years as a federal employee. You were also doing your education. After a few years at the IRS, you started your side hustle — a consultancy. How did that all come about?

Debra: I guess the “aha moment” came for me probably in 1997 or 1998. [That’s] when I started to realize that I’ve always been passionate about being an entrepreneur; having entrepreneur visions and things of that nature of helping people, wanting to help others reach their purpose, pursue their purpose or maximize their potential, inspiring and empowering others.

From 1997–2009, I’ve been researching and doing little things — not necessarily formalizing anything [but] looking into things of that nature. 2009 is when I would say I made a conscious decision that, “Okay, this is part of my purpose. I have to formalize this now and make this vision. I need to take action on the vision that I have and things that I’m passionate about.”

While working for the IRS, I formalized my business. I initially started under the name of Innovative Advisory Group, more geared toward mediation and arbitration. I’ve done a lot of mediation and arbitration-type work, grievances, and things of that nature from my federal career. Over time, it evolved into more coaching, empowerment, and consulting. 

My Ph.D. is in business administration with a concentration in management. Over the course of my 32-year federal career, I would say 29 of those years were in some form of management leadership capacity. I’ve always been in a management or leadership role. I kind of concluded, “Okay, I’m a leader.”

Doria: Yeah, absolutely.

Debra: Even when I wasn’t necessarily looking to have those roles, I was always picked out. I [was] like, “I don’t want to be out front but hey, that’s what the others saw in me.” I kind of accepted it and just started to go with it. 

2009 is when I formed my business as a legal entity. I didn’t necessarily work it full-time while I was a federal employee, especially with the IRS.

Doria: You had two kids [and] you were going to school. My goodness, you had a lot.

Debra: Oh my God, I didn’t have the time. As a federal employee, you’re supposed to get permission when you conduct any outside employment activity. Being an IRS employee, they conduct soft audits on your taxes every year. They track what you’re doing. I didn’t want conflicts or problems on the job. I’m proud to say that I worked 32 years for the federal government and never once was I written up for anything. I believe in adhering to the rules. 

Doria: You formed it and did research. You may have even done some work, but you really didn’t — well, we’ll get to where you got, which was in 2021. We’re in the midst of a global pandemic and you’re working for the federal government. Could you share with listeners what happened to you?

Health Emergency

Debra: In 2021, we’re all working from home because COVID-19 surfaced in March 2020. We’re at home, working full-time mandatory telework at all federal agencies. In April 2021, it was a regular Friday and I decided, “Well, I’m going to go get a cup of strawberry lemonade from Wendy’s.” I was on the bed and when I stood up, I had a sharp pain in the center of my chest. I recognized it as a pain that I had not had before. The pain [was] in the middle of my chest. My son, who is a young adult, lives with me. I called [him] to my room. The pain was intensifying. I knew it was serious at that point. I asked my son to get my medicine for me — I was already taking medicine for what the doctor had diagnosed as A-fib. That’s when you have a rapid heart rate or irregular heart rate.

Doria: Did you have high blood pressure?

Debra: Not so much but the rapid heart rate did elevate my pressure. My son got the medicine, I took [it] and the pain had extended to my back. I didn’t panic per se but I knew what was happening. 

I am an ordained minister. I’m a believer in Jesus Christ. My faith kicked in at this point. I told my son to call my pastors and 911. He had my pastors on one line and the 911 operator on the other. I was on the line with my pastors and we were praying, because we are faith walkers. We believe that if you call upon the name of the Lord that he hears and he will help you in your time of trouble.

I [was] sweating profusely. The pain [was] intensifying. I never lost consciousness. I never lost my humor. I [was] still managing to say humorous things even in the midst of this emergency. I’m grateful for that. I think that if I had panicked, it could have been worse.

When the paramedics got there, I was explaining to them what was happening. They hooked me up to the EKG and [it came] back normal. They said, “Everything’s showing normal. Do you want to go to the emergency room?” I said, “Yeah, take me to the emergency room.”

Once in the emergency room, they hooked me up to the EKG again. The second one showed some concerns for the emergency room doctor. She ordered a CAT scan. After the results came back, they had an on-call cardiologist look at the CAT scan. The next thing I know, they’re like, “Okay, we got to get you up to the CAT lab right away.” I’m like, “Well, what’s happening?” This is the funny part. My daughter is at the hospital at this time. I [was] telling my daughter, “Can you rub some lotion on my legs? I don’t want them to see me ashy.” I [was] still finding humor and joking. They [told] me, “Ma’am, you don’t need to be concerned about lotion because you’re having a heart attack.” Even though I knew that’s what it was, I [was] like, “What?” They’re like, “Yeah, we got to get you up to the cath lab for this procedure.” The next thing I knew, they were giving me anesthesia and performing this angioplasty.

It turned out I had a small blood clot that had formed from plaque that had dislodged from a small artery. The plaque dislodged from the artery, set up a small blood clot and the blood couldn’t flow through. [With] the angioplasty, they put the balloon through your artery to open it up. They got everything flowing and there was no long-term damage because they were able to perform the procedure rather quickly. It happened so quickly.

Doria: Wow! That in and of itself is incredible. Your life probably is going in front of your eyes at the same time that you’re trying to maintain humor, being calm and your faith is keeping you grounded. It’s a serious situation. Thank goodness you had family there.

It’s also interesting to me though that the paramedics were like, “Well, there’s nothing wrong with your EKG.” You had the foresight to say, “No, there’s definitely something not right here.”

Debra: Right, they said that the EKG was fine. I was like, “No, I’m going to go ahead and go to the emergency room.” I’m grateful that I had the foresight to tell them [that]. I knew that I had never had that pain before. I knew it was something different. 

I’m so grateful to God that I was able to not panic because I think that would have made it worse. I was fully aware that something was happening that was different and that it was an emergency. Maybe the humor was a form of panic? I think maybe my humor was intensified and it was some anxiety expressed in humor differently.

One of the ways that you protect yourself in a panicking situation is [that] you stop, you’re aware that something is happening but you have to like to shield your mind. You don’t go into this big panic mode and lose it. I think that’s what happened on that day.

Doria: I can’t help but think of what you shared about your grandfather and training in the Army. I would imagine it all kicks in in a life-or-death situation, right?

Debra: Yeah, most certainly. I’m glad you said that. That does make me think about times when my grandfather may have encountered a situation that would cause someone to panic and he remained calm — just thinking back on his strength. Then, of course, the military, I didn’t go to the war zone. I was trained on how to react, conduct myself, or behave in that type of situation. I’m glad I was able to remain calm. 

They were able to go in and do that procedure in record time. As a matter of fact, I remember afterward talking with that cardiologist. I remember telling him how they conducted themselves, prepping me for that procedure, and conducting that procedure reminded me of the military. They were so in sync. Everything was so structured in that whole process. He explained to me how when they get a cardiac patient, they have a window of time. The goal is to get that patient in and that procedure conducted within that window of time is to minimize the risk and the damage to the heart.

Doria: Thank goodness, all of that happened.

Becoming a Full-Time Entrepreneur

Doria: After this, you obviously needed a little bit of time to recoup, I would think. You were back on your feet pretty soon after. That’s when you decided to leave your federal job and focus full-time on entrepreneurship. How did that decision go?

Debra: I did return to work soon, probably sooner than I should have. At the same time, I’m not one to just stop. I’m always in some type of movement. I felt that I needed to go ahead and get back into the groove of things. I needed to do it sooner rather than later. 

Right after I was released from the hospital, I was home recovering. My emotions were all over the place. It set in that, “Okay, you had a heart attack and that’s serious.” I remember having these feelings of being overwhelmed by emotions, almost some sort of depression was trying to set in. I specifically remember saying, “No, I’m not going to go down this road. God pulled me through this. I’m going to get up and keep moving.” 

I’m grateful to God that I made it through this. It could have been the other way around. It was a serious thing. It wasn’t something to be taken lightly. It was amazing, it was. I decided that I wasn’t going to wallow in my emotions of “woe is me.” I rethought life because that day in the emergency room, everything happened so fast. I said, “My life could have been over with. My children could have been planning a funeral.” 

Considering that and thinking about that, it [was] like the passion that was already brewing in me for entrepreneurship and following my own vision. It really came to the forefront. I’m thinking at this point, “Debra, your life is so precious. Life is so precious and valuable. Whatever you’re going to do in life [and] desire to do, do it. Just do it, whatever it is.”

Doria: Exactly. Just do it.

Debra: Yeah, just do it! Don’t overthink it. Think about it, plan as much as you can but don’t overthink it. Don’t over-plan. Just do it. That’s when I started to think, “Okay, I’ve already worked 30 years for the federal government. Both of my children are grown. I want to be a full-time entrepreneur because I have a vision. I want to help people pursue their purpose and vision and maximize their potential. I want to inspire people. I want to empower people to be their best and help pull out the best in others. That’s what I want to do full time. I want to grow my business. This is what I want to do every day. I don’t want to be locked down on a nine-to-five where I have to ask, “Can I take leave? Can I take two hours to attend this medical appointment?” Or I have to hit the clock per se or punch the clock at 7:30 or eight o’clock in the morning. I have to be there at 4:30 in the evening. I’m commuting every day. I don’t want that to be my life anymore. On April 16, I had an emergency that could have gone in a different direction. It didn’t by the grace of God. I looked at it as another opportunity to do the things that I want to do [and] start a new chapter in life.

I thought about it and I made a conscious decision that I was going to pivot and go in a totally different direction. It was a scary decision because, of course, I worked for the federal government basically all of my life. 

At that point, that’s all I knew. I’ve been a federal employee for 30 years. I’ve been getting a federal employee check every two weeks. Now, here I am — going to step out on my own and trust God to order my steps. That’s what I did, but it was scary. It was a big decision. I didn’t have a lot of money saved. I had one year of salary saved. I had all these ideas, things I had written on paper, and stuff like that for years. I figured, “Okay, I’m going to implement this program.” I will tell you that that didn’t go the way I planned it per se, but the way that it went has been sufficient. Do you know what I’m saying?

Doria: I do, absolutely. You had a vision and planned it out a certain way. That’s how you planned to execute it. Then it obviously iterated because there was some sort of different need in some way, right?

Debra: Yes, but the way that it went, it has been working. I started to do leadership training and development coaching. That came about. It was an opportunity that I didn’t even look for per se. It came to me. It found me and I was like, “Okay, God I see what you’re doing. This is the direction I need to go in.” I ended up entering into an agreement with a lady to do this type of coaching work. That’s how executive coaching came about. 

My federal career had prepared me for that because, in my last role as an HR specialist, that’s what I did. I advised managers daily on permanence matters, conduct matters, and things of that nature. It kind of went along the same lines as what I had done for the federal government.

Doria: Absolutely, it makes so much sense. The opportunity found you. Did you have to do any marketing at all? Has it been all based on people that you knew previously or just things coming your way?

Debra: Well, I did some marketing. I didn’t do a lot. I updated my LinkedIn profile. This was prior to the opportunity. I’m a certified professional coach. I got my certification back in 2012 when I was working for the federal government. That’s something that I wanted to do. I wanted to have the credentials to do it, as well. I updated my LinkedIn profile because I was no longer a federal employee. I wanted to go more in detail about my knowledge, skills, and abilities, what I had done, and what I know that I could do or can do — listing all my credentials and things of that nature. When the opportunity found me, I didn’t necessarily have to get ready or do a whole lot to get ready to do that executive coaching work. Over the years, I had been researching, taking training, and looking into doing that anyways. I shared with a couple of people how I had looked into an actual executive coaching program with the University of Georgia back in the early or mid-2000s and then to have it actually manifest in 2021 — that was powerful.

Doria: Wow!

Debra: Yeah, it really was. I looked into it already, but it did find me. I was able to really transition over into doing that work. Being that I’m ex-military, the executive coaching is mainly with military executives. We have that in common; I can identify with them.

Doria: Is it a federal contract that you have?

Debra: Yeah, it is a federal contract. I’m basically a subcontractor, under a subcontractor.

Doria: That’s wonderful.

Divorces Don’t Have to Be Negative

Doria: I want to very briefly touch on a few things because I know we’re short on time. You married and divorced twice. Many people do. I also have my story. In hindsight, how did your marriages help or hinder you?

Debra: I will say this of both of my marriages — a lot of times when people get divorced, they’re just negative. That’s not my case. Now, of course, we were not on good terms. I reached this place within myself, especially with my first marriage. I was expecting something from my ex-husband that he couldn’t give me. I went into the marriage with the mindset of, “This is how I am. This is how I was raised. These are my morals. These are my values.” His were different. It’s like I wanted to force who I was, my morals, values, and all of this on him. He was a different person [and] his own individual. 

It took me 10 years to get to the point where I realized that I was wrong to even expect that from him — to expect him to change to be who I wanted him to be. When I reached that point [and] conclusion, I was able to accept that we were two different people that had different outlooks on life, upbringings and they didn’t mesh. I felt it was unfair for me to ask him to be somebody that he wasn’t. If you really love somebody, you let them be who they are and that’s even if you’re not together.

Doria: Absolutely. I think this happens when people mature. In my earlier relationships, I had that same sort of expectation that someone was going to fill that certain, if you want to call it, emptiness or whatever inside of me. I had to come to terms with the fact that, “No, I’m in control of myself, what I do, and my choices.” It’s interesting to hear you say that.

Debra: Yeah, and that’s exactly what happened. With that first marriage, I initiated the divorce. I sat down and thought, “Well, how much more time of my life am I willing to invest just on hope? Hope that he will eventually be this person.” As you said, I’m my own answer in that regard. He couldn’t fill that void for me. That was something that I had to do myself. I initiated the divorce in the first marriage. Now, the second marriage I jumped into kind of quick. The first marriage dissolved in 1999 and the second took place in 2001. That one was very short-lived [and] dissolved rather quickly because some extramarital affairs on his part. I knew that was something that I didn’t want. I didn’t want to tolerate it.

Doria: That was a deal breaker.

Debra: Right, that was a deal breaker. That dissolved within two years. Here I am after that dissolving marriage with two young children to raise. My daughter was 8 and my son was 3 at the time. I raised them from that.

Doria: You’re a single mom.

Debra: Right, single mom, working full-time, shift work. going to school full-time. It was a lot. Yeah, striving to be the productive individual that I know I am.

Doria: Well, it’s interesting that you talked about how you have some guilt about not having shown up for your children. When I hear your story, you’ve done so much. You also touched upon the fact that you wanted to do as much as you could with your life because you wanted to provide for them the future that you had to work really hard to get yourself.

Debra: Yes. I have an African-American male son. The literature already talks about the strikes that are against the young African-American male. The statistics that are out there about single-parenting households and things of that nature. I decided that’s not my portion [or] my story. I’m going to do whatever I can within my power to make sure that I can put my children in the best school that will be in the best neighborhoods where we don’t have to worry about bullying and things of that nature. 

That’s what I did. That’s why I worked so hard. I was so determined to do whatever it takes for my son and daughter to go to school and [not] have to think about the survival of the fittest. I probably moved three or four times to ensure that my son was in the best school. He went to private school maybe three or four times. God made it possible for me to do that. 

I’m grateful that I was able to do that. I think about the single parents that couldn’t and can’t. Their children have to be exposed to environments that are counterproductive to their life. That’s not my story. I’m grateful for that. That’s why I worked so hard.

Doria: Yes, and you did.

Tips for Single Mothers

Doria: My question to you today, for women who are listening to this who are single mothers, if you had a message or some tips to give them, what would they be?

Debra: I would say remain hopeful. Keep hope alive. Use available resources that are out there — free resources. We’re now in this age of information. There’s so much information out there and it’s free. Even though I’m an advocate for education — of course, with a Ph.D. — you don’t necessarily have to have a degree to be successful. 

Colleges and universities and things of that nature, it’s really a money-making business now. There are so many people getting out of school with all this debt. I would say use the resources that are available and network with people that can help you [or] point you in the direction that you need to go in. Don’t stop, just press on no matter what comes or goes. Motivate yourself. Make sure that you continually motivate yourself. Be around others that can motivate, empower, and inspire you.

Develop an intimate relationship with God. It is my faith that has kept me going. You got to have that faith, hope, and belief in God. That’s what has kept me going. Give it your all, because this is our only life. This is it. This is our opportunity to give back to God what he has invested in us. 

Doria: That is so true. You’re an ordained minister. Faith has played a huge role in your life.

Biggest Win and Regret

Doria: What is the biggest win in your life? Do you have a regret and if so, what?

Debra: Okay, I don’t want to sound corny but truthfully, Doria, my biggest win is my belief in God. I believe that because I believe in God, as my source [and] as my God, I am able to endure whatever comes in life. That’s what keeps me going. It’s because life is hard [and] challenging. Life has ups and downs. Because I believe in God, I’m able to coach myself through the ups and downs. With the downs especially, I’m able to coach myself through them just by believing in the written word in the Bible.

Doria: Yes, and it seems to me that the community around the church that one has is also incredibly supportive and helpful.

Debra: That is so true. The church that I’m a member of, we’re a small church but we’re like a family. When I was having that medical emergency, I knew I was able to call my pastors. They were there to pray with me through that ordeal. That plays a great part in being able to endure and go through [and] navigate life in general.

Doria: Absolutely, it’s like your North Star.

Debra: Yeah, and if I have a regret, I would have to go back to that time, as I said when I feel like I missed my children’s experiences. There are times I don’t even remember. I can’t reflect on them because I was so tired from working so many hours. I guess it balances out in the end, as you said because I was able to provide for them.

Doria: Exactly. It was the trade-off, I think, right? Not that it makes it any easier. At least it puts it in perspective because I can tell that you’re very proud of them today.

Debra: Yes, I am. They are both just the joy of my life. They really are.

Doria: Wonderful.

Debra: They are good children and to say that as a divorced, single parent is definitely a plus in this day and time. I’ve never had to worry about where my children were or where they are. 

They are good children and they are always in good hands, of course, because they are believers in God too. My son — that’s all he knows. He was raised in the church. He didn’t know anything else. My daughter’s the same. I’m just so grateful for that.

Doria: That’s touching to me. I wasn’t [involved with] religion for whatever reason. I wasn’t raised with it. I was baptized. Until I was 40, (I’m 52) I did not embrace God at all. I became confirmed in my 50s because I found that I needed faith. It has shaped my life. 

My biggest regret is that I did not expose my children to religion. I know that people always say, “Well, they can find it themselves.” Yes, they can, but it sure would have helped. That is a regret of mine. If I had at least given them a foundation that they could either accept or not accept — right now they don’t even really know what it is, you know what I mean?

Find Out More About Dr. Debra

Doria: This has been so wonderful. Can you tell listeners where they can find out more about your company and you?

Debra: If you’re looking for me, you can find me on my website, encoreempowermentintl.com. On social media — Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn — you can find me @Dr.DebraWrightOwens. 

It’s my maiden name. As I told you, my grandfather is such a strong role model and figure in my life. I just have to highlight my maiden name, even though, legally, it’s Debra Owens. I’m on all social media platforms as Dr. Debra Wright Owens. 

Doria: Dr. Owens, thank you for coming on SheVentures today and sharing your life with us.

Debra: Thank you, Ms. Doria. I’m so happy that you invited me [and] extended this opportunity to me. I’m grateful I had the opportunity to share my story.