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Full Transcript:

Note: This is an original transcript–edited for sense, length, and clarity.  If you have any questions or concerns, please email our host, Doria Lavagnino, at doria@sheventurespodcast.com.

 Intro

Doria Lavagnino

The next time you feel like life has treated you unfairly, I invite you to think about the accomplishments of today’s guest. Born to a teenage drug-addicted mother who abandoned her when she was 5,– at 13 this woman started to follow in her mother's footsteps. Doing drugs herself, dropping out of high school, and becoming a welfare-dependent teenage mom. How did she turn her life around from this to advising a president and becoming CEO of a consulting firm with a consulting firm of more than 100one hundred employees? Here to tell us about her journey is Rebecca Contreras. Rebecca, welcome to SheVentures.

00:46.97

Rebecca Contreras

Thank you so much. It's great to be here with your listeners, and I’m just thrilled to be able to tell my story.

00:52.94

Doria

And your story is quite a story. Can you give listeners a little bit of a glimpse into how you grew up?

Rebecca’s Background

01:03.27

Rebecca 

I'm probably not unlike most Americans. We had a lot of issues in our family and a lot of dysfunction existed. And, it's amazing to me as I travel the country and tell my story of how many people have grown up with pain, trauma, and hurt and deal with it every day.

I’m a border-town gal. I grew up in El Paso, Texas. I was one of four children. My mother had a lot of issues with drug addiction and mental illness and dysfunction and she grew up fatherless. Her fatherless her entire identity was lost in her childhood, which started her on a path of self-destruction. 

Then she had these kids, and all of us did not know our fathers. Outside of my twin brother and I, we all had different fathers and I always joked with people that my sister's father was African American, my father was white, and my brother's father was Mexican, and we just needed the Asian to complete the circle of diversity in our family. My mother, in all honesty, tried hard but she just had a lot of trauma in her life.

I started experiencing abuse at a very young age, and I tell my full story in Lost Girl, my new book. The first three chapters are dedicated to that. The reason I do that is not to shame my family but really to unveil that stuff happens in life and usually, it's not any of your fault. 

Most stuff happens to you, and at some point in your journey when you become an adult you have to become the driver of your future. Unfortunately, I, as a teenager and young adult, got involved in a lot of mess.

When you grow up in abject poverty on a welfare system with emotional, physical, and spiritual lack in every way, poverty does not set you up for success. I dropped out of school and ended up pregnant myself at age 17, and it wasn't until my daughter was probably about a year old that I had an “aha” moment and decided my life isn't where I want it to go.

Here I am, I'm 19 years old and my life's a mess. I don't have two pennies to rub together and I entered a welfare-to-work program for a woman here in Texas by the name of Anne Richards.

03:16.90

Doria

Yes, I know Anne Richards. I don't personally know her but I remember her. She was quite a woman.

03:24.33

Rebecca

She was a feisty woman, and she was the first woman in power that I saw in that welfare-to-work program. I became her receptionist and got to see her in action, and it gave me a vision for my life. It's so important as women to have these people we look up to and especially younger women that can have people that they look up to when they're in their own mess. Anne did that for me and started my government career in that way.

The Catalyst

03:49.40

Doria

It’s funny, you went through my first three questions without me having to ask. In your book, I believe, or maybe it was an article, you are quoted talking about your time with Anne Richards saying, “When I worked for Anne, I saw a woman of power and for the first time in my life I realized I don’t have to be strung out, I can do something with my life.” I was wondering if that was the catalyst for you to say, “enough is enough.” To your point, when you live through trauma. what you see is what you know, and that tends to be what you repeat. Why was your story different? What happened?

04:39.73

Rebecca

I think there were several catalysts in my life. I would say those early years and the first 10 years of my young adult life. There were a lot of “aha” moments, and catalysts, and most of it was getting sick and tired of being sick and tired and not having anything. My mom, who did come out of drug addiction and rehabilitated herself, took my daughter away from me. Losing my daughter was a catalyst, and not having her know me and having my mom raise her was a catalyst.

I tell the full story in chapter three. Her father, who was my baby daddy and a drug dealer that almost killed me, got thrown in prison and that was like, “Oh my God. What am I going to do now?” This guy's in prison and it was a good thing because he was an abuser but at the time I didn’t realize it. It’s like you have no value in yourself. You don't know what you are missing and you're treated like crap and you wonder if this is the way I'm supposed to be treated as a woman. You just don't know.

05:37.59

Doria

It’'s so true and I just want to also underscore the fact that a lot of this happened in the 70s. It happened to me as well, and people didn't call child protective services that was just not something that people did. and so I applaud you for writing your book, Lost Girl, because it destigmatizes and shows how you can come from this situation and still do something with your life.

The other piece of it that I see often is that women get very angry, understandably, with their abusers. They feel life has been unjust to them. I had to reckon with that myself, but it still doesn't change that you have to ultimately be in charge of your own life.

06:27.29

Rebecca

Anger and defiance and protest can all be healthy for change, but internally for me, it was not healthy. It made me bitter and angry. It made me hang onto my past, and I had to let that go and learn to forgive and love and embrace and trust other people.

I had mentors around me at a very young age that told me I was in a highway crash. They would say,   “Why won’t you get on a different path? There’s a purpose in your life. You are smart.”. The first time I heard I was smart, I was twenty years old.

Having those mentors around you went back to school, you’re getting some knowledge. Knowledge is power and getting some education and understanding that you have a purpose and you and you actually can learn.

I struggled a lot with my identity but I also had a lot of mental trauma, so I had a learning challenge disability. I couldn't learn. I couldn't absorb content. I had to force myself to change that and move in the trajectory of acquiring knowledge whether it was reading books or taking courses or developing myself professionally as a woman.

My second leader boss was a woman by the name of Kay Bailey Hutchinson who became a U.S. senator. Kay was a powerhouse, too. So here are these two women on polar opposite sides of the political aisle but they believed in me. Then, of course, my third boss was George W. Bush who was governor [of Texas] and became president.

It’'s so important to have people and leaders around you that believe in you and believe in your potential —  even when you don't believe in yourself.

Rebecca’s Tips and Resources

09:28.90

Doria

You earned your GED. and Wwe talked about [the late Texas Governor] Anne Richards and, you mentioned Kayte Bailey Hutchinson being on different parts of the political spectrum but supporting you nonetheless. And I wondered if there are any tips or resources that you would want to give to any young women or women in general that are in a similar situation that you found yourself in.

10:05.52

Rebecca

I think it's important to pursue and seek knowledge and also ensure that you're surrounding yourself with the right relationships and the right people that will help you as that catalyst for change. I think oftentimes we kind of stay in our circle that’s comfortable to us, but may not be healthy for us.

I had to get away and get out of the environmental factors and people that were toxic in my life and that meant starting over. Sometimes starting over is so hard, especially as women, we get comfortable even if we're in a mess. 

It may not feel good but it feels familiar, and I think having the grit and embracing that change and getting around different people but also pursuing knowledge can help. I don't have a traditional college degree but I had a lot of development through the LBJ School of Public Affairs here in Austin. I went and took classes on communication, how to dress for success, writing courses, and things that could develop me so that I would project myself more professionally.

I grew up in the hood. I'm from the east side [of El Paso] and there are things that come with that image-wise that I had to change. I think it's important to own your power and own your change regardless of what's been handed down to you. I think that the biggest message in my story of transformation is to own your power and own your change.

11:30.67

Doria

I love that because it reminds me of my father who came to this country from Italy after the Second World War and was a very successful entrepreneur but didn't have more than a high school education yet educated himself continuously throughout his life. I think what's interesting also about your story is you pivoted to advising President George Bush and you went into HR. so you did a lot of things and h How did that pivot happen?

Rebecca’s Pivot 

12:08.14

Rebecca 

One of my early mentors when I worked for Kay, mentored me in my life, in my young marriage, as a mom and wife. My mother was not married, my grandmother was not married, and we didn't have fathers in our life. Then here I was with this new husband and I didn’t know how to behave, didn’t know how to have a healthy marriage, and she mentored me. 

She was also my boss when Kay was in the office. She called me one day in January 1995 and she said, “Hey guess who I'm working for? I'm working for the new governor. Come and be my deputy.” So I moved over to the capital to work for a woman by the name of Donna Reynolds. I tell her story fully in the book and just what an amazing person she was in mentoring me in HR. She was kind of the HR guru for Texas, and I learned as much as I could from her. 

She sent me a lot of coursework. I ended up going to the governor’s executive development program to learn how to be a senior manager but it was under Donna, the one woman that invested in me and taught me all things HR, that ended up recommending me to the governor. She left her directorship and said, “Hey I'm going to recommend you to Governor Bush to be the director of HR,”, and I about fell over in my seat. I could not believe that I was going to be the director of HR, and of course, the rest is history with that. But it did take a lot of hard work.

13:22.79

Doria

I can imagine. Did you interview the former president?

13:31.70

Rebecca 

No, I didn't. I have to be honest, Doria, I had one interview my entire career, which was the welfare-to-work receptionist interview where I got in the door working for Anne Richards as a receptionist, and I haven't had to interview for jobs in my whole career.

I’ve had a network that I’ve built. That's the other thing I want to say: Your network matters. I am not the smartest person in the room. I don’t have formal education, but my network is vast and my network has been a stepping stone to my future in every sense of the word. It's why I'm a business owner today.

I leverage my network to build my business. Your network will make or break you as an entrepreneur. And as a career woman, that network served me well. I do want to briefly say I recently received a letter from President Bush. He read my book and sent me a personal note.

He communicated how impacted he was by my story and said, “I knew you had been through trauma but didn’t realize the depth of your pain and I’m proud to have served with you.” Of course, here I am reading a letter from an ex-president, and I’m thinking “Well wait a minute, you’re proud to have served with me? I’m proud to have served with you.” There are so many amazing people that I met in my government career who have helped establish my entrepreneur network today.

14:51.25

Doria

So what I’m hearing is that mentorship and networking are crucial. You had your first interview very early on, and then it was through your hustle and getting to know people and chasing down opportunities, being willing to learn and show up, and meeting the right people that can determine the outcome of your success. And some of that holds a bit of happenstance, a teeny bit of the unknown, right?

15:21.60

Rebecca 

It is yeah, and even putting yourself in a position to be in the right place at the right time is helpful. Positional power is so important. It matters where you go, where you meet, and who you go and hang out with., It matters where you walk.

But I also want to just encourage your listeners. People will read my story and think, “Oh my gosh that’s a once-in-a-lifetime story. That stuff just can’t ever happen to me.” Maybe you don’t walk the journey I walk, but I bet you what happened to me and the elements of climbing the ladder and having that grit and developing that entrepreneurial spirit or getting ahead in your career can happen to you. I challenge you to think that way.

It takes the right steps and the right elements to be successful, and I’m just I’m thrilled that I’ve lived the adventure that I’ve lived.

16:13.32

Doria

I would say that there’s very little good that can be said about trauma but I will say, at least for me, it has made me very driven. It also has some dysfunctional elements to it, but it has helped me in my career.

I like the idea of embracing the positive of it while you put it to rest and forgive what you need to. You ultimately are only hurting yourself if you are in a lot of pain. I wanted to ask: Are there any misconceptions about the former president that you want to address at all?

Misconceptions About President Bush

16:53.20

Rebecca

Listen, I spent 12 years with Governor Bush, then President Bush, and he has been an amazing leader and former boss to me. I met a lot of amazing people in the Bush Administration. One of my top mentors is a man by the name of Clay Johnson who is the president’s best friend from high school and Yale. He was a big catalyst in my life, too. 

I don’t have anything negative to say about President Bush. I can tell you that it’s really easy to criticize any president in office. We are seeing what’s happening now with the critical way in which people are looking at the presidency. Until you sit in that seat behind that oval office desk and you have to grapple with the decisions of the world, you just don’t know what you don’t know.

I always respect every president in office and I pray for our president, and I always encourage people not to be so quick to judge. Yes, we should mobilize and affect change by voting, but understand that they are faced with and grapple with the burdens of the world. Not just America because the president is a leader in the world. It’s not easy for me to criticize the president because I’ve seen it from the inside and I know the tremendous stories and issues that they grapple with. 

I tell the 9/11 story in my book in detail about my time in the oval office with him. And nobody knows what they don’t know until everything hits the fan and you have to make those tough decisions. Bush was a leader of resolve. I have developed my own leadership style with that resolve and grit. Nothing tears me down and sets me back without me getting back up, dusting myself off, and moving forward. So that’s what I have to say about that.

18:36.10

Doria

That’s fantastic! How did you pivot then from government work to becoming the CEO of your current consultancy, AvantGarde?

Rebecca’s Pivot from Government to CEO

18:47.53

Rebecca

So when I left the White House, I was asked to serve on the board of Westwest Point. President Bush appointed me to West Point, and I had my stint there and met some amazing people. I started consulting in addition to serving on the board at West Point and cut my teeth in consulting. I worked for another firm, and, Doria, I did that for six years and I've made the other firm a lot of money. I realized that 90 percent of the business that was coming into the firm was my network.

My mentor sat me down and said, “Rebecca, you know what you're doing for that man and making him rich you could do for yourself by starting your own consulting business.” I was like I guess I can do that. I had never started a business. I have no business background. 

I went and got the tools that I needed. I did business one-on-one, took some virtual courses, and just began to surround myself with business mentors, people that have started the business. I launched it in April 2011, and today we are 110 plus strong across nine states and it will hit 20,000,000. It’s all through organic growth. 

It’s through hiring good people, people smarter than me, and then empowering them to do what they do best and just providing that vision and leadership and that’s what AvantGarde does. We are a people process strategy firm and we solve “people” problems. We know we’ll be in business for a long time because there are a lot of “people” problems around.

20:18.60

Doria

That is for sure! I wasn’t aware that you started it from the ground up.

20:26.19

Rebecca

We did! I’m the majority owner. My partner, who’s an IT guy, owns 49 percent and he is the sort of systems platform. We’re both patent owners of an agile system that he developed. I’m on the patent as well because we did the strategic work together. 

We solve problems and we also deploy an agile platform that does workforce predictive analytics. I’m the driver as in the face of the company with a network and I also lead the team, but he plays a strategic role. 

He does all the behind-the-scenes stuff that I don’t ever want to do. I don’t want to get involved in QuickBooks and payroll and all that stuff that doesn’t excite me. I do want to say, though, if you go into business make sure you're teamed with the right partner that complements your skill sets and that you are in sync with what roles you're playing and where you complement each other, and who does what.

Just this month, I got recognized for two Stevie National American Business Awards. We're proud of that: Business of the Year and Woman Entrepreneur of the Year. So, yes, a lot of success that we are very proud of. I give all the kudos to my amazing team who makes me look good as a CEO, which I love.

21:49.32

Doria

That’s wonderful and congratulations on that. That must be a moment of feeling a lot of pride for yourself and your team. What would you say a typical day looks like for you as a CEOyou a CEO?

Typical Day of a CEO

22:02.83

Rebecca

Well, I’m straddling a lot. I am a mom to two amazing adult kids and one adopted niece and grandbabies, and I’m a wife of 32 years and a CEO. We also have a nonprofit. We do a lot of philanthropic work here in Austin with inner-city kids.

 I grew up in the inner city, so my and my husband’s hearts are there. Then I have this book launch and that I did in the middle of a book tour, so life for me is very chaotic. It’'s very busy but I’m very structured and organized. There’s nothing that happens outside of a calendar. 

For us right now, it’s our busiest time. We just launched the fiscal year 2023. The federal government just began its new fiscal year, so it’s back-to-back. In between that back-to-back schedule, I make sure that there’s a lot of self-care and self-love for myself. 

I think that I’m only going to be as good as my investment in myself. I always tell women nobody’s going to love you as you love you, and loving you means taking care of you. So make sure that those healthy habits are incorporated.

23:01.89

Doria

I think that as women we internalize that taking care of ourselves is somehow selfish. That’s the message that unfortunately many of us get. Yet if we're not okay everyone around us is not okay, and I applaud you for that. What does that look like for you? What does self-care look like for you?

Contreras Discusses the Importance of Self- Care

23:26.87

Rebecca

Well, this morning I started my day at 6:45 a.m. I have time for meditation and quiet journaling time. I’m making sure to center my mind around the things that are important to me, which are my prayer, my meditation, and my reflection on what is going on in my life. What does my day look like and how can I get calibrated emotionally around the inevitable chaos? 

We’ve had a lot of chaotic things hit recently with growth. Making sure I get that quiet time is really important. I do that every morning. I don’t skip it. If I miss that time, then my entire day feels a little more jumbled and chaotic. I work out five days a week. I have to. I’m 53 years old, and I’m not getting any younger.

I go out and walk, or I do Orange Theory. I try to do a little strength-training, and cardio. Then my favorite thing is spending time with our grandbabies. They bring me lots of joy. I’ll call my daughter or son-in-law when I want to come and see the kids have some Nana time. Through their little eyes, there’s hope. When the world is chaotic, I look into their eyes and I see so much hope. Those are the things that make me happy. My husband and I do what we call a religious Friday night date where we take time for ourselves. All of those things are so important to self-care and self-love.

24:58.45

Doria

Absolutely, and I take it that religion has played a big role in your life.

Contreras on Religion

25:06.92

Rebecca

Oh, it’s monumental in my life. I think faith in a world where people have lost faith and hope is so important as is the role that faith can play in your journey of encouragement.

I believe there’s a God and a higher power. And sometimes when I can’t, I sit and reflect and think about how He can, and He created the world, and everything that’s going on in my life must have a purpose. Faith is so important, and I find as I talk to people all over the country a lot of people have pressed into that notion because there is so much hopelessness. 

Especially what we’ve seen over the last two years with so much tragedy and death and trauma, and you've got to have something to hang on to. For me, faith is a monumental and critical success factor in my own journey. It is so important.

26:00.59

Doria

Wonderful! For women who are trying to navigate their careers, particularly those in male-dominated fields, what advice or tips would you give them?

Rebecca’s Tips and Advice

26:15.12

Rebecca 

Don’t shrink back in any position in any way. I do have a little bit of a different approach in how I position myself for taking what I call positional power in place at the table. I do it through leadership and servant leadership. I believe that women can march – we can protest and we can scream and holler that we want to sit at the table, but the way I have gotten my seat at the table is by bringing something to the table that adds value.

By doing my work and by showing myself as an expert and bringing solutions, I have earned a seat at the table. Let’'s earn that seat at the table. We live in an exciting time where women are the fastest-growing demographic in terms of economic growth and the contributor to the economic engine. We're the fastest-growing business. We're not where we need to be yet, but we're certainly not where we were 30thirty years ago.

I’m a really big leader in servant leadership to earn that seat at the table to have your voice heard. I tell a story in my book that your readers can read about when you do get bullied by that person. That’s usually gonna be a man, by the way. ,   jJust don’'t don’'t shrink back, and also don’'t engage in negative toxic fighting. 

Be the one to take that positional power to rise above that conflict and lead in a different kind of way. Even if you need to get yourself in a private area and get your thoughts centered so that you don’t respond in anger.

Put yourself forward in the best light so that no one can ever come back and say “Well, geez, she’s kind of a piece to work with.” She’s a little much but you're leading from that servant leadership positional power point.

28:10.64

Doria

I don’t know if I’m playing devil’s advocate, but I listen to my Gen Z daughters a lot and they talk about how they have been taught in school that they are privileged by nature because they are white. People of color don’t necessarily deserve to be put ahead of them because of that, but there has to be some kind of equalization that hasn’t occurred in their minds. What do you say to that? If someone said to you that you have more privileges that others haven’t had so it was easier for you, how would you address that?

28:55.56

Rebecca

I have never used my Latina or Hispanic card in my career ever. As a matter of fact, I don’t like it when people introduce me as the first Hispanic whatever. First Hispanic to serve the president. I don’t like that. I am a woman and a leader before I’m a Hispanic, and I’m a doer and a results-driven person before I am a Hispanic.

I’m all about diversity by the way. I led President Bush’'s recruitment diversity initiatives to get more people of color, women, and minorities into his administration, and we broke records in a lot of big ways in the appointments we made. But I tell people that feel that maybe it’s time for them to step aside, that aside that you need to walk in your conviction and in your thought process of why you feel that way but don’t let it be from a position of insecurity or of guilt. Let it be from a position of it’s the right thing because it’s the right thing for you — if that’s the way you feel.

I have never been one to lead with my Hispanic label. Has the fact that I’m Hispanic helped me? I don’t know. I can tell you I’ 'm results-driven, I’m outcome-driven, I'm smart. I mobilize people, and I've been able to acquire knowledge that I believe makes me a leader in my community, and in the business community. The fact that I’m Hispanic is nice but it’s not what I lead with.

30:26.35

Doria

I’m speechless because there’s very little I can say to that. You exactly represent what you say. Your rise has been meteoric. and we’re just wrapping up here. To what do you attribute both your personal and professional success?

30:46.71

Rebecca

I’ve never done it alone. I’m not a prima donna. I believe, Doria, I believe that we need a community and we need a tribe and we need people around us to help us succeed. I have a whole community around me of businesswomen, leaders, mentors, and a supportive husband and children and family, and I’m not alone.

I’ve never been alone. I’ve never done anything by myself. Put that stick in the ground to say I did it because I’m so smart. I have that community around me and I’ve also learned to believe in myself through the trauma and the pain and not allow anything to derail me from my purpose. It’s that grit leadership and that resolve leadership.

When you fall down, I call it a fail-forward strategy. John Maxwell has a great book on failing forward. I’ve learned to fail forward and take the pain that I’ve had in my life and use it for a good purpose. 

Doria, I have a series that I launched on my website called “pain on purpose.” And that means that pain’s going to happen but what are you going to do in the purpose around the pain? Those are the things I think have helped Rebecca be successful.

32:00.74

Doria

Wonderful!  and I want to thank you for your time. Could you tell our listeners where they can find out about Lost Girl and about your business and anything else that you recommend?

32:15.40

Rebecca

I would encourage you to connect with me on rebeccacontreras.com and subscribe to our mailing list. We have some tools and tips that we share, all the resources are free. If people want to learn more about my company AvantGarde, there’s a link from my rebeccacontreras.com page to my company AvantGarde. 

Connect with me on social media. I’'m on Linkedin and Facebook and Instagram at Rebecca Anne Contreras.

I’d love to hear from you, and I do hope that everybody takes a little bit of my story and uses it to think about what pivot you need to make in life and where those transformational moments can happen in your own journey. Thank you for having me.

32:55.21

Doria

Thank thank you, Rebecca, for sharing so authentically.