7 Must-Try Workplace Negotiating Skills

Career

Apr 7

We negotiate with others every time we need to settle a dispute or reach an agreement. Negotiations are important to both parties, and the hope is that they both show up to the table with the intention of finding a mutually beneficial outcome.

In the workplace, negotiating skills are helpful when it comes to determining your salary, role on the team, or new project timelines.

Being an effective communicator is the best skill set you can bring to the negotiation table. Here are the top seven skills you need to develop to become a powerful negotiator and an effective communicator in the workplace:

Essential Skill #1: Researching and strategizing

To be an effective negotiator, you must prepare. Approach the negotiation with an understanding of what you hope to accomplish. Start by brainstorming:

What is the result that you hope to achieve?

What are the best and worst case scenarios?
What are the important facts?
What specific information or data or personal experiences can you share to illustrate your position?
What is most important to the other party?
Where might their perspective differ from yours?
What are some potential roadblocks?
Where might emotions run high?

Brainstorm independently or with people who understand the factors and issues you need to consider. Be sure to write down all relevant facts, including your concerns and responses to factors raised by the other party.

Essential Skill #2: Decision-making

Once you have your plan, specify the outcomes that matter. Think about the best-case scenario, decide what’s acceptable and determine your non-negotiables. Outline essential points you want to address. Make the points you want the other person to take away succinctly.

Essential Skill #3: Making a “hot spot” list

Flag your list for roadblocks and emotional hot spots, and create a strategy for each. Consider the factors that are most important to the other party and identify what is and is less important to you. Make a list and consider which items you might use to show good faith and which you might reserve as a way to compromise during negotiations.

Next, take a moment to picture yourself having the interaction. Of course, there’s no way to anticipate everything that might happen during a negotiation, but try. You know the topics or the tone of voice that can trigger you. Practice responding to those scenarios.

Bring self-awareness to the negotiating table, so you can support yourself emotionally. Rehearse until your main points feel familiar and you are comfortable discussing all aspects in the negotiation. Remind yourself to breathe so you don’t get anxious. Do what you need to support yourself, so you can show up in the best way possible.

Consider yourself well-prepared when you are clear about your priorities, know what you will say, recognize where you might get thrown off course, and understand what outcomes are acceptable.

Essential Skill #4: Building rapport

Consider your intentions. State your intentions at the onset of a negotiation, and tell the other party what you hope to accomplish. For example, a great place to start could be:

“I’m glad we are having this meeting. I look forward to hearing what you have to say about my salary increase. I think I can show you why I deserve this increase, and I hope we can have a positive outcome for our meeting.”

While speaking, sit up straight, make eye contact, and smile (as long as it’s not a contentious situation). Show up in a confident, sincere, and friendly manner.

Remember: Negotiating does not mean that the other party is your adversary. Think of them as someone who has a vested interest in expressing their perspective, which might be different from yours. Friendliness and kindness do not equate to weakness.

Essential Skill #5: Persuading

You cannot be persuasive without actively listening to understand the other party’s perspective. Arguing will likely result in both sides digging in their heels.

Instead, focus on listening instead of focusing on what you will say next. You can jot down notes if a new piece of information comes up that you want to remember, but listen. If you are unsure about something, ask a question to clarify.

If you disagree with a comment, try not to react emotionally. Remain calm and continue to listen to understand their perspective.

When it’s your turn to speak, respectfully point out where you disagree and explain why you have an opposing view. Discuss salient facts, and make your case for the outcome you seek. Recognize you both may need to compromise.

Essential Skill #6: Addressing misunderstandings

If the conversation loses focus, or the negotiation becomes heated, stop talking and wait for the other person to pause. Defuse the situation through a neutral observation For example:

“We seem to be off on a tangent. Can we return to the primary topic we are here to discuss?”

“I want you to know that I am here in good faith. I hope we can continue to be productive? Can we focus on a mutually acceptable outcome?”

You want to be direct and clear and finish the conversation with a resolution. Stay outcome-focused, and don’t allow the other party’s behavior to hijack the negotiation. Remember, you prepared for this!

If the other person accuses you or says something untrue, get curious. Ask questions. Instead of becoming defensive or angry, find out as much as you can before you respond. If you did something hurtful, own it. Tell the party you appreciate their honesty and apologize. Take accountability, or the negotiations will not move forward.

Essential Skill #7: Acting with integrity

You will want to appear confident, prepared, and calm during a negotiation. Confidence means sitting up straight, opening your chest, and speaking from a place of inner strength. Stay composed, and present your perspective clearly and thoughtfully.

You desire a positive outcome. Hopefully, that outcome is mutually beneficial. Show up with that result in mind, and be proud of yourself for stepping up for yourself

Give it your best shot and walk tall. You got this.

This expert produced this original thought leadership piece free of charge to SheVentures. This expert values educating female entrepreneurs and the SheVentures community. SheVentures is not receiving affiliate compensation from the author/expert. Questions? Contact social@sheventurespodcast.com.

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Debra Roberts

Debra Roberts, LCSW, is a conversation expert and creator of The Relationship Protocol communication model. Her proprietary and practical approach to communication revolutionizes how professionals work together; it is at the core of The Communication Protocol, an online professional development program for companies and teams. Debra examines existing communication patterns and teaches essential tools for communicating effectively in the workplace and in personal relationships. As a result, organizations experience increased productivity, collaboration, engagement, and overall satisfaction. Her comprehensive approach also provides participants with the skills they need to defuse conflicts and create stronger, more positive relationships in all areas of their lives. With a background as an EMDR-certified trauma consultant and licensed clinical social worker, Debra has many years and a wide range of experience extending to all types of challenging relationships in the home and workplace. Featured as an expert on multiple media platforms, including The New York Times, The Cut, and Well+Good, Debra is an award-winning author, a columnist with Inc.com, and an occasional contributor to Business Insider. In her personal life, she enjoys spending time with her family and friends, playing tennis, and empowering people through kindness and simple communication tools.