My Unexpected Life Pivot: Motherhood

At 19, I learned I was unexpectedly pregnant. This is my story including how my strong faith guided my choices — and how becoming a mother has been a transformative experience.

Pregnant. The Clearblue pregnancy test showed two blue lines forming a plus sign, indicating that I was pregnant. At 19, I was about to face the biggest challenge of my life: being a young, possibly single, mother. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, there are nearly 11 million one-parent families with children, many of whom are mothers. 

I realized I was one of the 21 million people between the ages of 15 and 19 worldwide who get pregnant each year, according to the World Health Organization. 

I was standing in the bathroom and I felt overwhelmed by the magnitude of emotion from the life-changing, unexpected pregnancy results. I looked at myself in the mirror — the girl who just found out she was pregnant — a situation I thought could never happen to me. I was not supposed to get pregnant as soon as I started college, and a baby right now was not in the plan. 

To the contrary, I was set up for success. My parents pushed me to earn A’s in my academics to prepare me for college. In high school, I made the honor roll, was a member of the honor society, was captain of the cheerleading squad, and took Advanced Placement and dual-enrollment classes. I was in shock as I thought, “Oh no, my parents are going to be disappointed.”

A Time of Celebration

Having a baby is the best decision I’ve made! As a young mother, I don’t have much money, but I received a free baby shower through Embrace Grace. Here I am, before my shower.

Facing Stigma as a Pregnant Teenager

What would people think? What would my teachers and peers think when they saw me walk into class with a big, pregnant belly? What would my family think? What would the old lady in the grocery store think? These thoughts flooded my mind as I looked back down to ensure my eyes read the test correctly. 

The plus sign remained. I opened the bathroom door to tell my boyfriend. I saw him hunched over the side of the bed with his face buried in his hands anxiously awaiting the results. When I told him I was pregnant, he sat there in shock for a moment before pacing around the room. I remember he threw his arms in the air. We were both young, and neither of us felt ready to be parents, but this was the reality we faced. We were having a baby.

Though my pregnancy was unexpected and some people felt it would be best if I gave up my newborn or had an abortion, I knew that was out of the question. I never once considered abortion or adoption. This was the consequence of my actions, and I knew this baby was part of God’s plan for my life.

Some may remember 2020 as the year the COVID-19 pandemic started, but for me, it was the year I got pregnant with my son. I was in college full-time, and to provide for my son, I worked two part-time jobs throughout my pregnancy. I knew that I had to earn money before the baby arrived, so I could spend time with him. Working two jobs and going to college was tiresome. There were days I felt I didn’t have the strength to get out of bed, but somehow I kept going. I believe God and my faith gave, and continue to give, me the strength to persevere through hard times. 

Celebrate the Blessings

As mothers, we will all face challenges at some point, often unexpectedly. Some may be financial difficulties. 

I want to share what I call “my angel encounter that touched my life” to illustrate my financial challenges as a mother. 

One day, at the grocery store, I was buying food for my family, and I had a budgeted amount to spend. To stretch my money, I selected the cheapest (generic brand) food. The clerk at the register rang up my groceries, and I watched as the total continued to increase with each item scanned. The distress on my face must have been obvious. 

Seemingly out of nowhere, a man appeared and offered to pay for my groceries. I was shocked and at a loss for words. All I remember saying was “Thank you.” After he paid for my groceries, I sat in my car and cried. I wish I had said more and reiterated my gratitude for his kindness, but I was speechless. Tears of joy and relief rolled down my face. 

I tell this story for two reasons: 

1. My faith guides my life, and I believe that when I experience challenges, God provides. God sent an angel, which I believe was my deceased father, to pay for my groceries in my time of need. To me, this is what faith is: believing that God wants me to be the best person I can be and that He will show up when I least expect it.

2. To all the mothers out there who are facing challenges: You can do this. There are people who love you and kind strangers who want to help mothers in need. To the man who paid for my groceries, I want you to know how grateful I still am. I’ll never forget you helped a young mother trying her best — and expecting nothing in return.

Use Your Community

One lesson I continue to learn as a mother is to use resources. I joined a pregnant women’s group called Embrace Grace at my local church. This church group provides free baby showers (something I never thought I would have), for young pregnant women who attend the group regularly. 

I was surprised by how many people provided gifts and food to help young expectant mothers. I could not believe that people who did not know me cared about the well-being of my child and me. The church community came together and provided food, a baby shower, and gifts for us both. 

As mothers, it is essential to build community with others, whether it’s other mothers or people who share the same religion, interests, or career. We can lift up one another by supporting one another, even if it is simply with friendly conversation.

After my son was born, my college classes were still online due to the pandemic. Covid was a tragedy for many, but I see aspects of it as a blessing in disguise — though I did not realize it then. It was easier to be home with him and balance school through remote learning. 

Yes, there were times when it was hard to get my work done because he frequently needed my attention. I sacrificed my focus on school and shifted it toward my son. As he got older and the pandemic ended, I no longer had the privilege of getting to be home with my son and attend school. 

Overcoming the Challenges of Motherhood

My next hurdle was to find childcare with scant money. I called daycares, but all were full. The stress was starting to build, and I felt hopeless. Then, one day, the phone rang, and one of the more affordable daycares had availability, and it was close to where we lived! Once again, God provided.

I am proud to say that I continue to overcome challenges as a young mother. Today, I continue to work toward my goals. I attend college full-time and intern part-time for SheVentures. 

I plan to persevere, and one day become a journalist. To those who are reading my story, I want you to know, from one mother to another, that I support you. 

I may never understand your unique struggles because I don’t know you personally, but I can tell you from experience to persist during the hard times for you and your child.

Resources

Being a parent is tough, but support is out there. Check out these resources.

FOOD

Women, Infants, and Children (WIC)

• WIC is a federal grant program administered by each state.

• WIC is for low-income pregnant or breastfeeding women, and children up to age 5. 

• You must apply to see if you are eligible to receive WIC. 

• A caseworker will be assigned to you when your registration has been completed; there may be monthly phone calls between you and your caseworker.

• Benefits will be added to your WIC card on the same date of every month. (e.g., the 15th of each month), so you can purchase groceries.

• Not all food is WIC eligible. Use the app to scan the item’s barcode before purchasing to see if your WIC benefits can be applied.

• WIC provides resources other than food. It also provides healthcare referrals, and nutrition education for low-income pregnant, breastfeeding, and non-breastfeeding postpartum women, and to infants and children up to age 5 who are at risk of malnutrition.

• For more information, click here.

CHILDCARE

Department of Social Services (DSS) 

• Mothers needing childcare, visit your local DSS website to apply for assistance.

• DSS has 30 days from the day the application is submitted to grant eligibility.

• Once you are considered eligible, a caseworker will be assigned to you to discuss how much financial assistance you will receive. This varies by income and household size, information which you will need to provide during the application process. 

• For more information, click here.

CLOTHES

Salvation Army

• If you are looking for affordable secondhand clothes, household items, toys, etc., check out your local Salvation Army.

To find a location near you, click here.

HEALTHCARE

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) oversees Medicaid, which is a joint federal and state government program. 

• If you qualify as low-income, you may be eligible for Medicaid. Medicaid helps cover health expenses for families that meet a specific financial threshold. Apply on their website to see if you’re eligible.

For more information, click here.