Workplace Burnout: My Catalyst for Change
It’s easy to underestimate what entrepreneurship will require of your time, money, and health. Startups do succeed, yet we ignore the arduous entrepreneurial journey and the toll burnout can have on the people behind them.
You know the sound of someone’s nails scraping against a chalkboard? That’s how I started to visualize my nerves reacting any time a voice said my name because I knew the next sentence would be an ask. Irritability overtook me. Why the f#ck was I pulling 14-hour days year after year to get our company off the ground?
What’s worse, my performance as a mother, daughter, manager, partner, and friend felt mediocre at best. My diet sucked and I stopped exercising. If I could not be present for myself, how was I going to show up for my teenage daughters?
Looking back, I clearly see the downward spiral that ended with me mysteriously disappearing from work for a few months, as I pieced myself together.
Though it didn’t feel good to hit rock bottom, it did make me take an honest look at my life. I think it’s essential women share our burnout stories to decrease stigma, and to help one another, as the affliction strikes many, especially entrepreneurs.
It’s one thing to jokingly say you feel burned out after an intense sprint with a difficult client. It’s another to feel an overwhelming mixture of fatigue, exhaustion, dissatisfaction, or cynicism impacting your ability to assess situations and problem-solve.
The American Psychological Association polled 1,501 workers in its recent Work and Well Being Survey, and 36 percent of respondents reported having experienced cognitive weariness, 32 percent reported emotional exhaustion, and nearly half (44 percent) reported physical fatigue.
And after interviewing more than 100 women on SheVentures Podcast (about female entrepreneurs who’ve made a career or life pivot), I’ve come to realize that destigmatizing mental health and encouraging one another with genuine solutions are essential because these conditions thrive in secrecy and shame.
The glamorization of entrepreneurship doesn’t help. I am here to tell you: Entrepreneurship is a slog.
I had no idea how much mental fortitude it took to build a company from nothing.
I’ve performed multiple tasks in the same day — managing human resources, editorial, social media, and UX — when outsourcing wasn’t a viable option.
Outwardly, you try to project confidence as you network, ensure you hone in efficiently on product/market fit, while listening to colleagues, angels, and venture capitalists who each have something to tell you about how maybe you should focus slightly more on north, south, east, or west, all with a smile, unyielding enthusiasm, and an unbroken spirit.
Kerry Mitchell Brown, Ph.D, founder of KMB, an organizational and social justice consultancy, and former SheVentures guest, aptly describes burnout and its effect on women: “Burnout encompasses the fullness of our lives,” Mitchell Brown says. “It’s our experience of depletion, exhaustion of physical and emotional resources, and prolonged stress of filling unrealistic expectations.”
In truth, I sometimes feel ashamed that I struggle while everyone seems to be making inroads with their boundless enthusiasm and drive. Burnout has smothered my entrepreneurial flame more than once. Each time, I’ve gotten up, dusted myself off, a little wiser.
What’s helped? For me, therapy, good nutrition, sleeping well, and moderate exercise are critical. For years I shunned medication as I was raised to believe one’s outlook was determined by mind over matter. It took my ob-gyn to insist I take an antidepressant after the birth of my first daughter that I relented.
Though the script wasn’t a panacea, people close to me told me they noticed a difference in me for the better. Today I know I had internalized stigma about mental health and medication. No one judges a diabetic for needing insulin, so why was I judging myself because my brain chemistry was different from someone else’s?
These steps aren’t a miracle cure, but they blunt the sharp edge and help with the cognitive distortion that depression and anxiety can cause when you are struggling with burnout. They are my baseline. I have also found the acronym H.A.L.T. (hungry, angry, lonely, or tired) to be a useful mental checklist when I am feeling “off.”
And like many entrepreneurs, the mental health conditions I’ve learned to manage since my early 20s are common. University of California researchers hypothesized in their study that there’s an underlying relationship between entrepreneurship and deteriorating mental health. Entrepreneurs in the study were significantly more likely to report having a lifetime history of any mental health condition than participants in the comparison group — almost half (49 percent) of the entrepreneurs reported having a lifetime mental health condition, as compared with 32 percent of the non-entrepreneurs.
“Most entrepreneurs have a specific pattern of mental health differences,” says Michael A. Freeman, M.D., retired professor of clinical psychiatry at the University of California, San Francisco, School of Medicine and lead author of the study. “They manifest as both personality traits and mental health conditions. It’s these conditions that contribute to their unique ability to start and grow businesses.”
As to what comes first, nature or nurture, who knows? I can tell you what does and does not help. First, no matter how well-intentioned you are, if you work or live with someone who is struggling, please resist the urge to say:
It’s all about mindset.
Think about how good you have it!
Cheer up!
Aren’t you being a bit dramatic?
Why can’t you be grateful for what you have?
You think YOU have it bad…
Snap out of it!
Calm down!
Why are you so anxious?
Stop worrying!
Get over it.
Just breathe…
Have you ever tried ____________.
Let me tell you, if you are burned out, in the midst of lethargy that often accompanies a bout of depression, or your heart suddenly starts beating at 140 beats per minute for no apparent reason — these comments are invalidating.
I am fortunate to interview fascinating women on my podcast, some of whom deal with mental health and burnout professionally, like Asha Tarry, life coach, psychotherapist, and founder of Behavioral Health Consulting Services. Here are some of Tarry’s recommendations for reigniting your entrepreneurial flame, and if you’d like to hear her full episode, listen here.
Create a weekly schedule using a tool that organizes your priorities, goals, and support systems. (We use Trello here at SheVentures.)
Prioritize the tasks and responsibilities you need to complete.
Consider additional resources for responsibilities such as housekeeping and caretaking, if you can afford them.
Find friends or hobbies that give you joy.
Have a rewards system for once you reach a milestone or complete a task you least enjoy.
Interact with people within your community. The Small Business Administration in your state has vital, free resources to help you start a business.
Seek professional help for emotional or mental stress through online resources such as empowerment groups, small business coaches, and wellness professionals, particularly if they focus on women’s health.
Don’t be afraid to tell someone you trust that you may be struggling, says Tarry. “It may surprise you how talking about a challenge or a lack of resources can turn into something beneficial for you,” she adds.
Mental health struggles are real, and often isolating. If you are an entrepreneur — or anyone for that matter — who feels like she is depressed, anxious, or otherwise in over her head, see if these tips work. If not, find someone with whom to share your thoughts. It goes without saying that if you feel suicidal, you need to speak with someone immediately who is trained to help. Call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 800-273-8255 to speak to someone in English or Spanish.
Remember, sister, you are never alone.❤️